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I firmly hold the belief that it is never too late to evolve. I believe you absolutely are able to instruct a veteran learner, provided that the experienced individual is willing and eager for knowledge. So long as the person is prepared to acknowledge when it was mistaken, and strive to be a more enlightened self.

Well, admittedly, I am the old dog. And the trick I am working to acquire, even though I am a creature of habit? It is an important one, a feat I have grappled with, often, for my whole existence. My ongoing effort … to become less scared of huntsman spiders. Apologies to all the other spiders that exist; I have to be grounded about my capacity for development as a human. It also has to be the huntsman because it is imposing, commanding, and the one I encounter most often. This includes a trio of instances in the recent past. In my own living space. Though unseen, but I’m shaking my head with discomfort as I type.

I'm skeptical I’ll ever reach “admirer” status, but I've dedicated effort to at least achieving a standard level of composure about them.

I have been terrified of spiders from my earliest years (as opposed to other children who are fascinated by them). In my formative years, I had ample brothers around to ensure I never had to handle any personally, but I still became hysterical if one was clearly in the general area as me. One incident stands out of one morning when I was eight, my family still asleep, and trying to deal with a spider that had crawled on to the family room partition. I “handled” with it by positioning myself at a great distance, nearly crossing the threshold (in case it pursued me), and spraying a significant portion of bug repellent toward it. It didn’t reach the spider, but it managed to annoy and irritate everyone in my house.

In my adult life, whoever I was dating or cohabiting with was, automatically, the bravest of spiders out of the two of us, and therefore responsible for managing the intruder, while I made low keening sounds and beat a hasty retreat. If I was on my own, my tactic was simply to exit the space, plunge the room into darkness and try to erase the memory of its being before I had to enter again.

Not long ago, I stayed at a pal's residence where there was a notably big huntsman who lived in the window frame, primarily lingering. As a means to be less scared of it, I imagined the spider as a her, a girlie, one of us, just lounging in the sun and listening to us chat. It sounds extremely dumb, but it was effective (somewhat). Put another way, making a conscious choice to become less phobic proved successful.

Be that as it may, I've made an effort to continue. I reflect upon all the rational arguments not to be scared. I know huntsman spiders won’t harm me. I know they consume things like buzzing nuisances (creatures I despise). I am cognizant they are one of the world's exquisite, benign creatures.

Alas, they do continue to scuttle like that. They propel themselves in the deeply alarming and almost unjust way possible. The appearance of their numerous appendages propelling them at that alarming velocity causes my ancient psyche to enter panic mode. They are said to only have the typical arachnid arrangement, but I maintain that triples when they get going.

However it is no fault of their own that they have unnerving limbs, and they have the same privilege to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. My experience has shown that taking the steps of trying not to have a visceral panic reaction and retreat when I see one, working to keep composed and breathing steadily, and consciously focusing about their positive qualities, has actually started to help.

Simply due to the reality that they are fuzzy entities that scuttle about with startling speed in a way that haunts my sleep, doesn’t mean they merit my intense dislike, or my girly screams. I can admit when I’ve been wrong and driven by irrational anxiety. I’m not sure I’ll ever attain the “trapping one under a cup and relocating it outdoors” phase, but one can't be sure. Some life is left left in this seasoned learner yet.